Female Friendship Friday: Tara*Starr and Elizabeth

If you're around my age, and grew up in the United States, you probably remember Scholastic Book orders at school. Your teacher would hand everyone a catalog that had different types of books that you could order. It was one of my favorite things about school, and I would often beg my mom to let me order at least one book. For many people, this is how they first discovered books like Harry Potter or Captain Underpants, for me this is how I discovered a book called P.S...Longer Letter Later, by Paula Danziger and Ann.M.Martin. The book is about twelve-year-old girls, Tara*Starr and Elizabeth, who are best friends. Tara moves to Ohio and the two send letters to one another in order to continue their friendship. Through their correspondence, we see them grow while their friendship is tested along the way. The book later gained a sequel called Snail, Mail No More, where they switch to email. This was one of my favorite books from my childhood and still influences my perspective on friendship today.

Tara is brash and outgoing and loves to put herself out there. Elizabeth is shy and thoughtful. While they are different in personality and lifestyles, they both share a passion for writing. Tara is more interested in writing humor and stories, Elizabeth writes poetry. They also both enjoy reading, as they mention what books they are on, when they write to each other. In the second book they mention how part of what caused them to become friends was their interest in writing and their love for Harriet the Spy.

This book was my first introduction to the realities of a long distance friendship. These two girls care about each other and even though they no longer live in the same state, and they try hard to maintain it. The letters they send show how difficult it can be when you can only talk to your best friend through letters; the first letter Elizabeth writes to Tara is about how angry she is at her. "You're still my best friend. I hate that you moved away, but I know it wasn't your fault" (2). Even though she is mad at Tara, she writes about her first day of school and asks for Tara to do the same. In response to Elizabeth's letter, Tara writes an equally angry yet informative letter to her. "Give me a break!!!! You Know That I Didn't Want to Move...That I was Kidnapped By the Charents (my childlike pArents..." (4). This goes back and forth a few times and allows us to see how the two friends interact. While it may be strange to have our main characters bicker for the first few letters, it gives a us a good sense of their personality and what their friendship is like. Not to mention, it's understandable for one someone (especially a twelve-year-old) to be upset that their best friend is no longer near them anymore. Eventually they are able to make peace with the fact that Tara's moved, but that doesn't mean the rest of the book is conflict free.

Elizabeth's life starts becoming more difficult when her father is let go from his high paying job and turns to drinking. She writes to Tara about her problems and Tara does all she can to try and ease her worries. Eventually tensions begin to rise when Elizabeth feels Tara is judging her parents too harshly without fully trying to understand the situation. "You know, sometimes you are very hard on people. You get these ideas about how things should be, what's what's wrong, what is, what isn't, and you won't let go of them," (133). Tara is offended by this, as she feels she is only stating how she feels and worrying about her friend. "I have only one set of eyes, MINE-- and sometimes I see things that YOU don't want to see... YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND!!!!!! Am I supposed to just see things that are really major, really important, and not say anything?????????" (137). When their fight reaches the tipping point, they stop writing to each other for almost a month. Of course, eventually they reconcile and forgive each other and Elizabeth is able to update Tara on her family's situation. It's like a breath of fresh air, when both girls are able to write to each other again.

One of the strengths of the books is that, Tara and Elizabeth's friendship feels authentic, they fight over real issues that affect their lives but they constantly show how much they mean to each other."I really wanted to answer you right away, because I am just so glad that our fight is over and we're friends again, even if we have to settle for being letter-friends" (168). Although it can cause them to butt heads, their not afraid to be honest with each other (especially not Tara). They also able to talk to each other about anything from the silly to the serious. Even though it's been years since I read these books, they resonate with me. They remind me of the friendships I've had in the past and the ones I have now.

The sequel continues where the story left off and switches to emails when Tara gets her own computer and email account. Their lives don't get any simpler, but they continue to stay in touch and keep each other updated on what's going on in their respective lives. It delves further into elements introduced in the first book, such as alcoholism, disillusionment and growing up. 

These books show how friendship isn't always easy, especially when you can't see each other every day. They require hard work and commitment from both sides, and if it's meant to be then it can become even stronger than before. Even though we never got to see what the future held for Tara*Starr and Elizabeth, I'd like to think they would continue be best friends and became successful writers who frequently collaborate. Since the writers who wrote the books, Danziger and Martin are friends in real life, it's entirely possible.

Female Friendship Friday: Sawako, Chizu and Ayane

So far, since I've started this writing series, I've written only about pairs, but this time I'll be writing about a trio, Sawako, Chizu and Ayane from one of my favorite series Kimi ni Todoke. This series lives and breathes the power of friendship and is able to present in a way that is sweet rather than sickeningly.

Kimi ni Todoke is a shojo manga series by Karuho Shiina that has also been adapted into an anime series, light novel and a live action film. The series is about Sawako Kuronuma, a girl whose resemblance to Sadako (which her classmates call her) and awkward demeanor cause her classmates to fear her. Her efforts in order to interact with them are constantly misinterpreted as her trying to curse or bewitch them in some way. These issues cause her to be unable to make any close friends, at least until she starts to spend time with the most popular boy in her class, Shota Kazehaya. Their budding relationship opens door for her to get to know their other classmates, most importantly, Chizu Yoshida and Ayane Yano. While the series does focus on the romance between Sawako and Kazehaya (I know his first name is Shota, but I'm too used to calling him by his last name), it also spends a lot of time developing the friendship between the three girls.

Sawako first meets Chizu and Ayane after she overhears them talking about the haunted trail and their plan to somehow convince her to play a ghost. She speaks up to reveal herself and volunteer to be the ghost. She admits to them that she doesn't have supernatural powers, but wants to do her best to create a fun time for her classmates. Chizu is immediately moved by this, and they all agree to have Sawako play the ghost. Sawako is happy that she was able to express her feelings and not be misinterpreted. Later on they visit Sawako during the even to reward her hard work with a bottled drink, which touches her heart, since this was the first time a classmate had given her anything. These small instances are what cause Sawako to try and befriend them.

The second volume spends the most time on the development of the friendship between Sawako, Chizu and Ayane. Throughout the first two volumes, the three start spending more time together and become closer to one another. Although they've been spending time together, Sawako is hesitant to call them her friends, not because she doesn't like them, but because she doesn't want to be presumptuous. The irony of it all is that Chizu and Ayane like her and already consider her a friend. Unfortunately, in typical shoujo manga fashion, misunderstandings ensue.Rumors start spreading about Chizu and Ayane's past, and they start to wonder whether or not Sawako is the one who started them. When Sawako begins hearing about the rumors, she worries that her association with them is what's causing the rumors to spread in the first place and stops hanging out with them in an effort to stop them. This of course doesn't work and just cause them all to think that they aren't as close as they believed, which upsets them all. Chizu and Ayane are able to talk to each other about Sawako and how much they care about her. Even though they've been friends a long time and have each other, they still cherish Sawako and want her to be their friend. Eventually, Sawako proves her friendship towards them, when she tries to stop the rumors from spreading by confronting a group of girls who are talking about Chizu and Ayane. Even when they start to get aggressive towards Sawako, she still tries to clear their names. When they find out about the fight ensuing, they rush into the restroom to save her, and come in just in time to hear her tell the bullies how much the two mean to her.

They are able to scare the bullies away and are able to reconcile and admit to Sawako that they've always considered her a friend. While their friendship was tested by high school drama, they were able to overcome it by speaking truthfully and having each others backs. Which is a theme throughout the series.

One aspect of their relationship that is enjoyable is their dynamic with one another. Although Ayane is the same age as them, she often appears older, both in looks and her worldliness. She's savvy in terms of reading people's motives and actions. She uses her insights in order to help give Sawako advice in how to approach other people, especially her crush. She's also on the manipulative side, but she uses her skills in order to help her friends, especially Sawako. Chizu on the other hand, is much more childish and fun loving. She's a bit dense, although not on the same level as Sawako, and has a very strange train of thought. For example, she wishes to be a ramen when she is older. She's very loyal to her friends and is very protective of Sawako. When she's first introduced, she's admits to being drawn towards innocents. Since Sawako is not used to hanging out people other than her family on a regular basis, they are often the ones to try and teach her how friends act. For instance in the third volume, they tell her it's okay for her to call them by their first names. While it takes awhile for her to adapt, she is eventually able to do it without being self-conscious. In return they stop calling her Sadako and start calling her by her real name. Ayane is the one who guides her, while Chizu's nature often help encourage Sawako to try new things.


Throughout the volumes, their friendship grows stronger and closer and they try and help Sawako become more open around her classmates. What makes it heartwarming, is how they never try and change Sawako in order to make her fit in. They constantly admit that they like her the way she is, and how she should be true to herself. They often just encourage her to show their classmates the side of her, that they see when they got to know her.
" You know, Sawako...our first impression of you was gloomy and out of place, too. But now, we know how cute and sweet you are. We love you. And it's because you mustered up your courage and fought hard to defend us. You, us, Kazehaya...there's no difference between any of us. Not unless you believe there is," - Ayane Yano
Since Chizu and Ayane are two of the first friends she makes in the series, Sawako is always quick to return the favor. When they are down and need support, she is their to cheer them up. Since her kindness is one of her biggest strengths, her presence is always appreciated. She also helps them by tutoring them (particularly Chizu) in various subjects in class, which helps them raise their grades.

This series is filled with many heartwarming moments, many of which are due to Sawako, Chizu and Ayane's friendship. (The other is due to Sawako's relationship with Kazehaya, but that's a topic for another day). They are all supportive of each other and love each other dearly. Their friendship is able to find and bring out each others positive qualities.

Female Friendship Friday: Abbi and Ilana

Broad City is one of my newest television obsessions. It originally started as a comedy web series on YouTube created and staring Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer. Eventually their show gained attention from Amy Poehler and who later became their executive producer of the television version of their show on Comedy Central.  

Abbi Abrams and Ilana Wexler are fictionalized versions of Jacobson and Galzer and the series is about their lives in New York City. Abbi is an aspiring illustrator who works in a high class gym called Soulstice, where she is often treated with no respect. Ilana "works" at a company called "Deals Deals Deals", where she spends most of her time sleeping and collecting a paycheck. Abbi is definitely the more structured of the pair, and she is the one pulled into Ilana's reckless plans. However, she has proven time and time again that she can keep up with Ilana's energy and antics. While Ilana is a slacker who is often willing to do anything to serve her own means, she cares about Abbi's well-being as well. She wants to have fun and experience life while having Abbi right by her side.

There's a lot to enjoy about Broad City, from its humor to the wild adventures that the main characters end up having. However its biggest draw comes from one of the most accurate portrayals of female friendship I've ever seen, between Abbi and Ilana. The reason for this is due to Jacobson and Galzer's real life friendship that the show is based on. Like many friends they often get together to talk about various issues in their lives. While they do talk about men and their relationships with them, they're not constantly the sole focus of their conversations. Their talks often vary from talking about what kind of dogs they would want to be, to whether or not they would want Janet Jackson or Micheal Buble to go down on them. While they often get frustrated with one another, they care about each other and aren't afraid to show it.

The level of Abbi and Ilana's friendship is apparent in the first episode, when Ilana convinces Abbi to ditch work and try to earn enough money to go to a secret Lil Wayne concert in a few hours. They go through different schemes, from Ilana stealing office supplies from work, to cleaning a creepy baby man's apartment in their underwear. When each idea proves to be fruitless, they end up spending the night drinking outside and talking about how they would go through hell together. Even though it's a first episode, it doesn't have the characters explain through exposition how long they've known each other, but they're still able to show their how deep their bond is. They often refer to past incidents, such as Ilana mentioning a time when Abbi stole a van, or when Abbi gets an idea to earn money through bucket drumming after finding a bib from their performance days. The rest of the series has many opportunities that show how comfortable they are with one another, as they casually talk about sex and their preferences. Sometimes Ilana can be a little too comfortable, as the first scene of the series shows.

Through thick and thin, Abbi and Ilana have each other’s backs when it counts. They often rely on each other for advice when one of them is stuck in a situation. They can also trust each other with any type of information. When Abbi is stuck in her bathroom when her toilet won't flush, while her crush is in the other room, all she can do is slide a note that shows who she can depend on to help her.

When Ilana enters the bathroom, she immediately sympathizes with Abbi's situation and assures her, that things can still go smoothly and promises to get rid of the evidence. I don't want to spoil too much, but Ilana succeeds and probably deserves a medal, for her skill in stealth and friendship. Ilana may half-ass it when it comes to work and anything involving responsibility, but when it comes to Abbi, she's always willing to go the extra mile. Abbi has her own way of taking care of Ilana, by giving her some perspective when needed. She's not afraid to call her out on her crap if needed, and while it can sometimes be hard to hear. ("Sometimes you're so anti-racist, that  you're actually really racist.") While Ilana's shocked by these types of hard truths, she actually listens since they come from Abbi's mouth. As the season one finale showed, Abbi's also willing to carry Ilana into her arms if it means saving her life.

While being in your 20s might make someone technically an adult, it doesn't mean that life magically stops being complicated. Stuff happens, some good, some bad, and a lot of it is out of your hands. It helps to have a special someone who can help take the edge off from life. As Abbi and Ilana have shown, there is no reason that person can't be your best friend.

Female Friendship Friday: Leslie and Ann

Parks and Recreation has ended, and I for one, am saddened, but ultimately grateful that it got to end at its prime. Although it had an uneasy start, it eventually found its footing and grew to be a show that perfectly mixed humor and genuine emotion. One of its greatest strengths came from the characters and their relationships with one another. The friendship between Leslie Knope and Ann Perkins is consonantly shown as one of the strongest.

The two meet during a Leslie run public forum, where Ann brings up the abandoned pit in her neighborhood. She tells them that they need to do something about it, and Leslie agrees and pinky promises to help her out. This exchange not only sparks a mission to turn that pit into a park, but also creates, as Leslie would say, one of the greatest friendships of our lifetime.

 Leslie is constantly trying to make her town Pawnee a better place, and she often brings her friends along for the ride. Ann once put it best by describing Leslie as a steamroller. “You’re a steamroller! You’re a massive, enormous, runaway steamroller with no brakes and a cement brick on the gas pedal!" Since Leslie is so extreme in everything she does, Ann is able to pull her down to earth and provide her with emotional support when things seem bleakest.

What makes Leslie and Ann's friendship so full of feels is their devotion to one another, especially on Leslie's part. She is frequently showering Ann with odd, but sweetly creative compliments. She also gives thoughtful presents on their special holidays that Leslie made up. However, as later seasons show, Ann's no slouch in the friendship department either. Not many people would go out of their way to get an old waffle maker from someone's favorite restaurant (As far as we know only two others, a husband and mail-carrier respectively). Also in one episode, Leslie gets into a fight with her ex-best friend, Lindsay Carlisle Shay over a fence separating Pawnee and Eagleton,  Ann bails her out. She also cheers her up, by reassuring Leslie that Lindsay only built the fence because she was jealous of Leslie, and offers to beat her senseless with a baseball bat.

They also support each other during their biggest live changing events. When Leslie is approached to run for city council, Ann is the first person she reveals the news to, and she of course encourages her to go for it. Leslie, is often more hesitant before completely supporting Ann's decisions, mostly because she wants the best for Ann. Eventually though, she always becomes her biggest cheerleader. When Ann decides to have a baby, through in vitro fertilization, Leslie is skeptical at first, but accompanies her to the sperm bank anyway. When they discover that one of the bank’s frequent sperm donors is “Sewage Joe”, (a Pawnee resident who lives up to his nickname even after he no longer works in the sewage department). As she puts it, the only man she considers worthy enough to be Ann's potential donor or soul mate is Channing Tatum. Leslie ends up meddling her way into Ann's business. Later on she realizes her mistake and realizes that she needs to be supportive. She does this in true Knope fashion, by making Ann a binder containing information on getting pregnant.

Their relationship isn't always perfect, as they do occasionally disagree. As stated before, sometimes Leslie's pushy personality can be little overbearing, especially when it comes to Ann. She often believes that she knows what's best for her, and that has caused her to try and take control of her life. In one episode, Leslie sets up a job interview as a director in the health department for Ann, without consulting her first. This along with Leslie being frustrated with the Ann's choice of men she's been seeing, causes them to have a large fight. They make up of course, and Leslie realizes that while her heart was in the right place, she went about it the wrong way.

Leslie and Ann's friendship is one that is tied together with support and adoration of one another. They both see each other as strong, smart, accomplished women and always quick to remind each other that. Although Leslie's way of expressing those compliments tend to be a bit more elaborate and sometimes strange. Through thick and thin, their love for each other can survive any distance (as the series finale has proven). Their friendship is one that many aspire to have, and hopefully many already have.

Female Friendship Friday: Nana and Hachi

Nana is a series about two women with the same name who meet and become friends. Nana Osaki is a punk rocker who dreams of making it big with her band, The Black Stones. Nana Komatsu (later nicknamed Hachiko) is a love-obsessed girly girl, with a kind heart. The two meet on a train on their way to Tokyo to start their new lives, little did they know that they their lives would involve each other. While on the surface, the two have very little in common; it doesn't stop them from forming a strong bond. 

 The series is probably best described as a love story between two friends. The two Nanas care for each other to such an extent that it sometime seems to be beyond just friendship. Sure both Nanas have male love interests, but for the most part, especially in the beginning, they value their relationship the best. At one point Hachiko even says that if Nana was a guy, she would fall in love with her. It's also somewhat implied that her relationship with Nana may have had some part in the deterioration of Hachiko's relationship with her boyfriend. Later on in the story Nana compares her feelings for Hachiko to that of a teenage boy in love for the first time. If they did end up together as romantic partners, it would make sense, especially since friendship is a good foundation in a relationship. So far though, it’s not clear if their friendship will ever go that direction. Either way, they both mean the world to each other.

One of the best parts of Nana is watching as their bond forms and grows over time. Hachiko is constantly amazed and in awe of Nana’s cool demeanor and toughness. Nana is amused by Hachi’s sweet nature and passionate energy. One significant moment of their alliance is when they go furniture shopping for their apartment and Hachi finds a pair of strawberry drinking glasses. Her insistence that they should only buy the pair if they both enjoy them and her happiness when Nana finally says she likes strawberries, causes Nana to compare her to a dog nicknames her Hachiko. Although this might not seem very flattering, it’s obvious that although she finds her excitable energy a lot to handle, she also finds it endearing.

*Spoiler Warning*

Being a shojo series, there is a lot of drama that surrounds the two as they navigate through their life in Tokyo. Luckily they have each other to support as they go through it. For example, when Hachiko discovers that her boyfriend is seeing another woman, Nana is the first to confront him and nearly beats the crap out of him right then and there. Even though a punch isn’t thrown, Nana is still able to help her by confronting her and holding her as she cries all night. Later on she admits that if Nana hadn’t been there for her, she probably would have drowned herself in the river. Hachiko later returns the favor by helping reunite Nana and her ex-boyfriend by dragging her to see him perform with his band in concert. When Nana sees him for the first time in a year, she is overcome with tears, and Hachi holds her hand to help her through it. After they get back together, she sincerely thanks Hachi for the creating the opportunity for this to happen. At this point it becomes more noticeable how close they have become as they are now able to talk about matters, that Nana had kept to herself before. She is now able to share her feelings and be vulnerable in front of her. Even Hachi notices this change and is touched and pleased that they have become so close.

 Towards the end of the series, life begins to get rockier for the two of them. In one case literally, as Nana’s music career starts to take off, and Hachi becomes pregnant and doesn’t know who the father is. This forces her to move out of the apartment that they share, which leaves her devastated. This his hard on the both of them and Hachi makes it clear in a letter she leaves, that Nana is her hero and she will always love her no matter what. Even though it takes a little while, Nana uses a reporter’s camera to her advantage and lets her know that she loves her too and that she will “make her dreams come true.”

These two may be the exact opposite from each other, but they prove how a strong bond can form with the right amount of love and care. They may not be perfect, but they bring the best out of each other.